Clementine

Clementine (2017)

In the burning red dreams of a summer haze

My mind was clearly in a daze

I found you so pretty and so fine

Please be mine forever Clementine

We went to England in July

Stars forever lit our flight

Beckoning what dreams may die

I'll hold you with all my might

In the ballroom you would rise and shine

As the music sang its rhyme

Glorious and so divine

Your beauty transcends time

The shots from out in the rain

Grabbed your shoulder you felt no pain

Then you were silent misaligned

In the chaos we both went blind

A long night of shivering fears

You were clinging to life like a tear

All hopes were dashed and died

Two nights gone you're no longer alive

In my mourning I will feel no might

No more love will be in my sight

I'll come visit your grave each time

If you stay mine forever Clementine

Ani's Dream

Ani's Dream (2017)

In a dark blue sky
of ethereal evenings

a lonely siren sings 

She said... she couldn't...

meet in my garden

So then we gave her Wings.

Through floating dreams we don't remember

Tomorrows fade too soon

And if we dare to live forever

We start all dreams a new

They sailed away... to Red horizons

In floating thoughts they'd Sway.

But then we saved Our Cosmic Gardens.

and saw the milky way

She wished them Luck...

on towards Red's Journey

We'd never see them soon...

And I, Ghost Lord...

My Lady Timeline...

We blessed the crescent moon

Arise

Arise (2017)

The flower of life - 

A beaming beacon that dies all too soon

Dark Summer nights -

When wishes fail but bad dreams come true

Madness will arise -

And punish the unsuspecting brain

Chaos then comes too -

Until the subject cries in scowling tongues... insane

Does it ever end?

No. However, some days have their enlightened moments

And then comes death.

Why did we exist in the first place?

What willed it so?

Singing Sailors Cover

Singing Sailors Cover (2017)

There's a river between us now
Some state line borders, some broken towns
Some singing sailors doing what they please
Now I'm down to saying prayers on my knees

I've loved your eyes, your innocence
In the face of bad times and where it wents
There's no wind on this bitter earth
Time and distance claim my blues for what they're worth

I'd call your name when I grew scared
I'd write your home if you were there
I am so broken by losing you
Only life can heal and see me through

When it "rains" I'm all alone,
confused by lonely, headed for home
Some singing sailors doing what they please
Now I'm down to saying prayers on my knees

There's a river between us now
Some state line borders, some broken town
Some singing sailors doing what they please
Now I'm down to saying prayers on my knees
Now I'm down to saying prayers on my knees

Maria Spanish Rose Cover

Maria Spanish Rose Cover (2016)

She was a rose in Spanish clothes
Had her hair hung down, all shiny brown
I asked her name as the sun did wane
She said ‘Maria, I’ll be around’
She said ‘Maria, I’ll be around’

And that’s when cold said I was old
That I had no reason to sing this song
But I was fooled, my heart was unschooled
And Maria came along 
In a bomber jacket, chewing gum
On an ancient cycle, in the streets of town
She rode her Harley, I wore a gun
No one ever said a thing about what we’d done
This old poet and his girl so young
Were blind to time, refused to run
Came full circle in Mexico
In the night by the stars and the moon glow

She was a rose in Spanish clothes
Had her hair hung down, all shiny brown
I asked her name as the sun did wane
She said ‘Maria, I’ll be around’
She said ‘Maria, I’ll be around’

One Path Left to Go Early Version

One Path Left to Go (2015)

All my Life I have tumbled in the wind

All my life I have walked the path of sin

The storms of summer come and the blizzards finally go

But my own fate I'll never know

Read it in the papers that they're planning for a war

Extraordinary weapons that I've always abhorred

Will lay a lonely child to waste

His momentary pain will then pass away

The leaders of this nation in their manicured place

Claim I've done awful deeds of horrible disgrace

As they launch their bombs unto the towns

The parasites inside make people drown

They'll tear out their insides in a horrible display

Of chemical perfection made in a lab far away

With money that you and I have earned

We pay to see these children burn

People are freezing and starving in the street

We waste our lives toiling for corporate greed

United we can take a stand

Money'd devils won't give us commands

Another time, another place, the world might be ok

But not tomorrow, not today, while we all drown in pain

The wealthy have bought out all our souls

And we're chained down, just one path left to go

Rain Falls

Rain Falls (2016)

Rain falls on a lonely Saturday

Calm grace adorns the air

Streets hum so gallantly

Life moves without a care

A creature sits in solitude

Above the traffic's trance

He's weeping and he's destitute

No partner for his dance

Those walking down below the beast

Never catch a glimpse

Of how this creature spends his days

A shunned and broken imp

So rain will fall until its dry

The creature weeps alone

Proud birds then will sweep the sky

The creature knows he's home

21st Century Musician

"21st Century Musician" (2016)

The Uneasy Stranger

The Uneasy Stranger (2016)

Random, old, buried, and once-inaccessible parts of the mind sometimes open up and flourish during the doldrums of routine daily events, such as shopping, cleaning, and miscellaneous chores. The conscience also happens to be born anew during moments of the exact opposite, moments of struggle, chaos, and life-or-death situations. Chadwick knew this, but had yet to experience it to the fullest. He was a thirty-three year old run-of-the-mill office clerk with an excruciatingly simple and predictable life. He drove a grey 2009 Honda Civic to his accounting job at Malteco Financing and he parked it in the exact same spot between 8:37 and 8:41 AM - depending on how he fit into the traffic light patterns of that particular morning. He watched the exact same TV shows as they aired throughout the rigid weekly cycle, thinking the exact same things as each one started and ended, and then going through the exact same motions and mental contemplation each time the credits to a show rolled across his mid-budget flat-screen television. He ate the exact same cycle of meals precisely on schedule as each one was assigned to its particular slot inside each of the seven days. All of his attempts to hang on to this existence of simplicity failed the day he saw the uneasy stranger.

                It was an early autumn Wednesday. Chadwick was out shopping for household supplies and groceries at the local big box store chain called Sawn’s Mart. It was owned by the Sawnson family, the richest family on Earth, and a bumbling lot of greedy, narcissistic psychopaths by all reputable accounts.  Chadwick himself was a household of one. He was far too introverted for dating, far too reclusive for friendship, and far too alienated for roommates or family. In this decrepit solitude Chadwick’s life hummed along with very predictable and mundane tones. This particular shopping trip was no exception. He parked in the dreary suburban parking lot as the late morning sun reflected its own specter across the upper dark band of his car’s windshield. He carefully locked his car, making sure to keep a constant hold of his keys, and then he proceeded into the store towards the automatic doors, completely unaware of the life shaking event which would take place inside.

                He entered the store and pulled out a cart from one of the rows by the main entrance. Then he proceeded to go through his shopping routine. Produce, bread, frozen, snacks, then household essentials. In the cleaning aisle Chadwick was struck by an unthinkable and invisible phantasm. It seemed that none of his fellow Sawn’s Mart shoppers noticed this creature or malicious attack against him. It suddenly appeared in his peripheral vision as a small elusive demon, an evil sprite of sorts. It hopped around the aisle like a small dust devil across a plain and then, at precisely the most opportune moment, it materialized a box-cutter and nicked Chadwick on the right forearm. The pain made him jump and sent his thoughts into a panicked delirium. And yet, this panic was still dwarfed by a completely different one, caused by the fact that not one single shopper noticed this evil creature. None of the six other people in the aisle even raised an eye up at this heinous attack. No one cared. No one noticed.

                In retrospect, the cut was not all that bad. It would leave a mild scar, at worst. Back inside his Civic, Chadwick began to calm down. His last stop on this peculiar shopping trip was the pharmacy section where he bought bandages and antiseptic solution. While driving back home, Chadwick realized he was now more puzzled and confused than scared. The fear of what just transpired was strong, to be sure, but it did not last. It gave way to and internalized questioning of himself. Was that a real attack by a supernatural being? Was it a hallucination? Or was it a very clever trickster of a child looking to get a ruse out of sheepish suburban shoppers in a store? Chadwick knew not what to do or who to call. And so, he went home to watch the next television show on his itinerary, hoping the passage of a few days would put this unfortunate situation far behind him.

                Time did not help. Exactly three days after his final store purchase of band-aids and disinfectant wipes was scanned, Chadwick woke up inside what appeared to be a suburban basement torture chamber. He was completely alone, chained, bound, and dressed only in soiled boxer shorts. The greater part of him did not panic. The smaller part of him expected this event, even though he had no idea how it transpired. All he remembered was the regular shopping trip, then about seventy two hours of a dark void. He felt no immediate sensations when waking up and coming to his senses inside the chamber, but then slowly, the tightness of the straps and chains around his limbs came to attention. His next thought was to produce a scream, but he soon realized that his mouth was taped completely shut. There must have been a force that brought him here… but what was it? And what was that odd and poking, somewhat painful feeling, slowly materializing in his abdomen?

                Who did this? Chadwick’s thoughts began to scramble in on themselves after he realized there was no point in struggling against the bindings, the chains, or the tape. Where am I? Why? Chadwick’s conscience sprung out from the depths of his psyche like a lonely flower on top of a shallow grave. It began to torment him, to interrogate him. The questions started.

                Why did you bully John Wilkson in the fourth grade? He didn’t do anything to you. Why did you do it, Chadwick?

                Why did you reject Sarah Fawler in her attempts at dating you during senior year in high school? She liked you, Chadwick. Why did you do reject her, Chadwick?

                Why did you not drop some coins into the beggar’s cup the last time you went downtown? You have over twelve thousand dollars saved, Chadwick. You don’t need that money, Chadwick. The beggar needed that money more than you, Chadwick. Why didn't you do it, Chadwick?

                This contemplative struggle went on for hours with no end in sight. Eventually Chadwick’s energy began to wane. He knew he could lose consciousness at any moment. His dehydration was reaching unforeseen levels. All struggles failed. All attempts to escape the binds and chains failed. Meekly, Chadwick resigned. This was the end. As the final throes of life’s energy leaked out of him, Chadwick noticed something he had yet not seen inside the dimly lit chamber. He felt almost silly for missing it during all those past hours.

It was a mirror. A perfectly polished, antique mirror that was reminiscent of the pomp and circumstance of Victorian times. It sat slightly off center from his field of vision and about seven feet away from the front of the chain rig. Inside the mirror, an uneasy stranger looked back at him. A small cut from what appeared to be a box cutter blade was visible on his right forearm.

Dream Entity

"Dream Entity" (2016)

Re-entry Sixty Miles

"Re-entry Sixty Miles" (2016)

Death in the Capsule

"Death in the Capsule" (2016)

21st Century Artist Vlad Motchoulski

"21st Century Artist" (2016)

Tesla Motors Mars Light Industrial Utility Vehicle

Tesla Motors Mars Light Industrial Utility Vehicle (2016)

A concept sketch of a proposed Tesla Motors Industrial Vehicle model - designed for light utility and industrial use on a theoretical Martian colony. The vehicle is structured like a scorpion, an aggressive and agile layout which is capable of successfully navigating the treacherous Martian landscape. At the front is the cabin, followed by two vehicle body sections. These are semi-flexible and allow for moderate bends and torques, as required by the terrain. There exist two quick-install bays, which can be used to quickly change, modify, or install additional vehicle hardware such as: cranes, wing structures, antennas, grapples, forklift structures, and other construction or maintenance equipment. The entire vehicle is 100% sealed. No Martian dust or particles could ever get in. None of the self sustaining internal micro climate could ever get out without direct application of the self-destruct protocols. The vehicle runs on electric power, utilizing extremely advanced electric motors and power storage systems which are currently under development by Tesla Motors. The vehicle is also equipped with a few "last-resort" features like undercarriage boosters, allowing for a few minutes of low-speed flight or hovering ability... a self deploying parachute based on advanced internal systems, which deploys in extreme emergencies such as this vehicle falling off a cliff... Micro-greenhouse technology which could increase survival chances during long periods of isolation, and a double-switch self destruct sequence, where both the pilot and the co-pilot of the two-person crew must knowingly and willfully engage in self-termination, resulting in a controlled explosion which instantly and voluntarily destroys this vehicle and all occupants.

No Name #1 - Elliott Smith Cover Solo Piano

No Name #1 - Elliott Smith Cover Solo Piano (2016)

A Discussion at Harper College

A Discussion at Harper College (2016)

Below are highlights and excerpts from a discussion between myself and a member of the intellectual community that took place in a music room on the William Rainey Harper College campus in Palatine, IL.

Thoughts on Economics:

"When I think of the economy here in the U.S. my first thought is wages, or rather, the lack of thereof. Let me start by saying that any working adult must never live in poverty, regardless of education level, skill set, family background, or experience. Unfortunately this is not the case for America's economic model, which I find to be primitive and Regressive. You have countless examples of dedicated hardworking adults who must rely on government assistance to survive. This leads me to believe that their employers are either greedy or just plain sadistic, because... why would you have someone work for you all week, sacrificing many hours of time, body strength, overall health, and peace of mind, and not even pay them a fair living wage in return? It just doesn't make any sense. When given a different perspective, I find the behavior of many employers to be quite disturbing and sick.”

“I believe the entire capitalist model is based on barbarism, cruelty, and sadism. It is quite a failed system, in my eyes. I am not an expert on the math and detail behind economics, but just from casually observing prices in stores and property rents around Chicago suburban zip codes, I can say that a reasonable starting wage for an adult working full time should be around $20 per hour. Now, this is just to survive. Of course there must be raises compensating for inflation and improved work performance tied into the employment agreement. Again, I'm only describing the bare minimum here with the $20 per hour figure. Anything less than this I would consider to be worker exploitation and psychological terrorism at the hands of the employer. "

“Another aspect of today’s economy I oppose is excessive wealth hoarding. If I absolutely had to pick a number, I would say about one million of today’s dollars would be more than sufficient to meet my necessities for the rest of my life. There is a good chance I would donate over one half of any large sum of money I may ever receive, within the first week or two of receiving it. I just don’t see the point of accumulating many millions, or even billions of dollars in wealth. It’s a completely fake and hollow culture from my point of view. It would make me feel very, very dirty, and used. No matter what a person’s labor or enterprise is, there is absolutely no way a reasonable observer can say that the observed person legitimately earned so many, many millions or even many billions of dollars in just a few years or even decades of work. This is a lie capitalists tell, and also a logical impossibility.”

"The whole concept of economic hierarchy, of dominance of management over worker, of chain-of-command, of fake elitist culture... disgusts and sickens me to the core. We are sentient, self-aware, fragile beings drifting on a small rock in a small star system floating in an enormous galaxy that is still just a barely-there speck in the infinite vastness of space. How in the right mind can anyone, for any reason, think it is okay to have dominance over a fellow being's life, in any way, shape, or form?"

Music:

"Nothing I do was effortless at the beginning. I struggled mightily when first learning music, and even considered quitting several times. I think the key to success here is discipline. Forget about learning quickly or playing fast music, the first step is to use discipline and master the very basics until they become easy, then build from there. I have been a recording artist for several years now. I enjoy the peace and quiet of my music space, and also the options to do many takes for a recording then pick the best one later. Live playing is not my natural strength, so I am still developing that. As far as the instruments themselves, I pretty much started with basic open chords on acoustic guitar, and then learned simple scales like A minor pentatonic. Also learning the major scale was crucial. I think it's very important for any musician to really master this scale, and basically have it engraved into your mindset. I am actually quite a late starter on piano. I think I started around age 23 or 24. I don’t think age matters in music. A so called late starter can easily have as much, if not more success than an early one, or even a child prodigy. I think it's all about keeping your mind open. Everyone's potential is limitless; they just need to access it properly."

Broader views:

"What interests me about life in general is that no one actually knows what anything really is. We have a theory today that states everything came from one singularity and then expanded rapidly after the Big Bang, eventually forming the observable Universe after many billions of years. I don't think much is known about what happened prior to this, or exactly how many, if any, other dimensions or multiverses exist beyond what we can see and measure.”

“What I have observed is that organized mass religion has been very detrimental to our species. I support a way of thinking similar to Secular Humanism. I believe that if all members of the species adapted this system, then preventable catastrophes like Nuclear war, income inequality, wealth hoarding, and the rise of a fascist dictator in an industrialized nation can be stopped. Simply put, religion to me is just a bunch of fiction and rhetoric and it's hard to take anyone who treats religion as fact seriously. I think we all need to kind of wake up and embrace scientific thinking, but not as an indisputable fact that must never be questioned - which is how many Primitive Regressives view the archaic Bible - but instead as a learning tool for progress and development. Hopefully this translates to better living, so in the future we don't have fascist psychopaths like Donald Trump running around, getting legitimate support from the masses of citizens who are either grossly misinformed or intellectually underdeveloped and severely regressed in that regard"

On the future:

"I think humanity's future could be bright if we embrace Secular Humanism, or something similar. I believe all information and energy will be free and easily accessible to the average citizen in the future. If that future person wanted to, I believe he or she should be able to obtain a high level of education in any field free of any financial charge. The basic energy needs must also be free. There is no reason for anyone to ever be without food, water, shelter, healthcare, transportation, or security. Not with these obscene stockpiles of idle wealth that we have all over the world. We must access these immense stockpiles and re-distribute them in a civilized, organized, and rational manner.”

“I believe the more information that travels between people across all levels of society, the better of that society will be as a whole. This is a very idealistic view, but I don't think it is impossible to achieve. To me if starts with educating yourself and thinking critically and questioning everything. What I've realized during my time in this society is that many people simply do not know how to think or ask questions. They basically burn through their lives like biological automatons, taking orders, creating economic output, and then dying anonymously. I find this to be rather depressing and unnerving, but I believe it can be corrected over time.”

“All people need to learn how to think for themselves. They must learn how to question any and all authority at all times.”

Come into the Garden - Nick Drake Cover

Come into the Garden - Nick Drake Cover (2015)

Original written by the legendary British artist Nick Drake (1948 - 1974)

In the bright red sky

In the heat of an evening

When only prisoners sleep

She said she couldn't

Come to the garden

See an old man weep

She said her dreams were too far to be thought of

Her scars too wide to heal

She said she couldn't come to the garden

See a blind man kneel

She sailed away to a blue horizon

In floating thoughts she'd sway

She said she couldn't come to the garden

See an old man pray

She wished them luck as they left on their journey

Maybe she'd join them soon

But she lost her grip at the tip of life's fingers

Went home and worshiped the moon

Drone Citizen

Drone Citizen (2015)

I toiled for meager wages
For two decade and a half
Finally the blindness took me in
Didn't realize what they've done to my head
Spread disease and laid the blame with me

Your health will be secure, the manager then said
As I ate his lies, destitute and dumb
In agony I pray to a god who is never there
Save the broken shell that I've become

All the drones toil on in the burning sun
The privileged classes look away
Our effort is led on by their pointed guns
Our only real escape from this is death

A decade has passed since machines could think alone
They'd help mankind, their makers proudly said
I shake and shiver in my cold fluorescent home
The room is bare, my savings growing thin

Classified for life as the ones who will die
Working for the privilege of the few
We're desensitized, pupils dyed pure white
Sleep dreamless, conquered by the truth

I listen to the rain and the telecast machine
The agents talk of wars in distant lands
I weep for the end of my family's proud tree
Sterilized, by the higher classes hand

Swept away in pain, I am trembling
Wishing for my consciousness to cease
Shattered dreams all die, hope is crucified
Emotions numbed, yet I remember grief

Nuclear Silhouettes

Nuclear Silhouettes (2015)